bluesky
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Post by bluesky on Nov 27, 2011 10:35:32 GMT -5
This is going to sound ridiculous I'm sure but I'm genuinely saddened and shocked by some sad news over here in England.
A young man, just 42, who used to play football (soccer) for Everton as well as some of other clubs in the premier league here, played the most amount of games so far as a non goalkeeper (over 500), commited suicide and was found this morning.
I watched him play for us lots of times. He was forging a great career as manager of the Wales national team and was only on television yesterday talking about football. He leaves behind a young family and I've never known an outpouring of grief for a long time.
Depression's a disease I have my own experience with and this year seems to have been horrendous for so many sad losses. I lost my best friend in March to cancer and another friend in August plus my mother battling cancer. Never really cried about their loss that much, isn't it mad how you end up crying over someone you never met more than any personal loss.
Anyway, sorry for bringing the mood down. Give everyone you know a big hug today and thanks for this forum giving me a place to vent.
xx
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Post by margarine on Nov 27, 2011 14:07:56 GMT -5
I get it, bluesky. There's just something about a loss like that, you can't help but feel their pain and wonder if there isn't some better way to get through life.
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southpaw
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Post by southpaw on Nov 27, 2011 14:48:35 GMT -5
Hugs, Bluesky.
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Post by runner on Nov 27, 2011 16:56:24 GMT -5
Hugs to you, bluesky. I'm glad this board is here for you to vent... and vent all you need.
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Post by lissy on Nov 28, 2011 2:12:09 GMT -5
A big hug for you today as well. We heard about this yesterday evening during the Liverpool-Man City match - Craig Bellamy didn't play, he was too upset. The saddest thing is that no-one seems to know why he did it.
I'm sorry for the loss of your loved ones. I hope your mum is better soon.
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Post by sweetlikemeli on Nov 28, 2011 3:13:21 GMT -5
bluesky it is very sad to hear that you have lost loved ones & I truly hope your mother is doing well............
Depression is something that affects us all...I have been battling it for a while now and there are times when I don't even know why I am depressed but the feeling of emptyness and despair is there..........
The one thing that has helped me is focusing on all the good positives in my life...................
So sending you a huge hug your way.........
You ain't alone ......this place here.... this Ohana has given me a voice and comfort and something to look forward too..... hope it does the same for you...
Whenever you feel like it just come on here and vent all you want about anything you want...
Take care 
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Post by twassbrake on Nov 28, 2011 7:11:06 GMT -5
Hugs Bluesky ...... You had one bad, bad year.
I'm sorry to hear your story. Depression is a very serious condition, sadly it's not very uncommon these days.
Here in Germany it's currently a pretty big theme. After National Soccer Keeper Robert Enke commited suicide due to heavy Depressions in late 2009, more player and trainer are coming forward with the same illness, making it public. Latest negative highlight was a national soccer referee that tried to commit suicide right before he was supposed to referee a game in the first Bundesliga. That was just a few weeks ago. Out of the blue, so to say.
It's sad that so much people still underestimate the impact of this illness. Fighting a chemical unbalance without any help isn't getting you anywhere. You need other people to help you. Maybe his death can bring attention to the seriousness of Depressions. If it get's to an seemingly healthy, young succesfull man to the point where he felt the only way out is to kill himself, it can get anybody.
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Post by lissy on Nov 28, 2011 13:05:46 GMT -5
So true, twassbrake. It's such an isolating illness too, where people don't feel able to admit how they are feeling. I remember a quote from a novel about depression I once read (the author is a woman who spent years battling depression and alcoholism) in which the main character says at one point "I compared my insides with everyone else's outsides" - everyone else seemed so together and so capable that she didn't feel she could admit to anyone that she was struggling. There's still this attitude that people with depression "should just pull themselves together", there's so little understanding of how little control people with the condition have over their emotional state.
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bluesky
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Post by bluesky on Nov 28, 2011 14:59:07 GMT -5
What can I say? What amazing people you all are. I felt a bit stupid and embarrassed after my post yesterday. I can't explain the emotion and for those of you are in the UK and Ireland, I'm sure you'd bear me out that the outpouring for Gary Speed and his poor family is pretty unprecedented. This gives a much better idea of the outpouring than I ever could give justice to: www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/danwalker/2011/11/gary_speed_leaves_a_huge_whole.html To date, over 350 responses to the blog post too. Sweetlikemeli, i'm so glad you're finding strength like me in finding positives in your life, and you're right, this place like here is fast becoming family and a place to feel quite safe. Anytime you need to talk I hope you'll either PM me or vent away on here. Twassbrake, I read about the referee, poor man and also about Robert Enke last year. You just wish these people realised how much people loved them and maybe it could've helped in some way. It's just so tragic. LS1628, I'd read about american football stars who'd taken their own lives, but not hockey players. So awful. I hope that one day, depression'll become less the tabboo subject it is and that particularly young men find some way to be able to talk through it rather than hiding and perhaps feeling that they're letting themselves down. Lissy, felt so much for Craig Bellamy yesterday and poor Robbie Savage too. Everyone really. Your last post too, god that's so spot on. I Finally, thanks to you all again and for your kind words about the losses this year and my mum. It's been the worst year but there's some hope for mum. We find out how the radiotherapy went in early January. I hope you're all fine. xxxx |
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Post by jox3347 on Nov 30, 2011 6:29:34 GMT -5
Bluesky, I'm late to this discussion but wanted to acknowledge your pain and grief on this subject. The more light that can be shown onto depression & other forms of mental illness the better. Sometimes well meaning people say " just snap out of it" or minimize a person's feelings or dismissing them completely " tomorrow things will get better" etc. We tend to chop off people's bodies at the neck and only think think that body's only get sick from the neck down. Brains get sick too, and I doubt anyone would ever tell a diabetic or an epileptic to " snap out of it". In medicine they are in the toddler phase of understanding the biochemical changes in the brain that can trigger different forms of mental illness. As for suicide, it's never a reasonable or rational decision. We'll never understand " why" someone would take their own life, most just want " relief" from the emotional pain. All my best to you and lots of ((((hugs)))) too
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Post by Leni on Nov 30, 2011 12:17:05 GMT -5
I don't know if any of you are fans of George Michael, but he is in the ICU in Austria. He is suffering from a respiratory infection and is on a ventilator. If he survives, he may never sing again. I am a teen of the 80's and he was one of my biggest crushes.(we were all blind to the social and sexual preferences) I had the honor of meeting him in 1987 in London. My cousin knew his sister and lived in the same neighborhood as her. I know that some of you are from this generation and may feel the same. Sad, so sad.
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Post by sweetlikemeli on Dec 1, 2011 2:38:30 GMT -5
I don't know if any of you are fans of George Michael, but he is in the ICU in Austria. He is suffering from a respiratory infection and is on a ventilator. If he survives, he may never sing again. I am a teen of the 80's and he was one of my biggest crushes.(we were all blind to the social and sexual preferences) I had the honor of meeting him in 1987 in London. My cousin knew his sister and lived in the same neighborhood as her. I know that some of you are from this generation and may feel the same. Sad, so sad. |
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bluesky
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Post by bluesky on Dec 2, 2011 16:41:50 GMT -5
I too was a big Whamster! at the time though to my shame, I loved Andy Ridgeley best. Not for his talent obviously! That's great you met him, what was he like? Did you get a photo with him?
It's awful about poor George, hopefully he'll make a full recovery. Last thing i read, his doctors said he was slowly getting better. A friend in work was due to go to see him this week and said he'd done 40 consecutive nights on tour or something daft like that. Hopefully he'll rest lots and just take it easier next time.
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Post by Leni on Dec 2, 2011 18:08:07 GMT -5
I got an autograph but no picture. It was back in the day before cell phones. I was in London staying with an Aunt and went to visit my cousin. She is a bit older than me. I was about 19 at the time. So imagine I had been crushing on him for a while now.She arranged for me to meet him, to my surprise and he was very sweet and gracious. It was brief, since he was just passing through and stopped to say hi to his sister. He said "Always a pleasure to meet an American fan here in London, especially one of Cypriot descent as myself" and flashed the most amazing smile. He handed me the personalized autographed photo and left. I was in heaven for years!!
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